Dear Don

dated 2010-01-11 | posted in columns | topic Travel | permanent link

Dear Don,

I’m so disappointed that we didn’t spend the New Year’s holiday together. I was all packed and ready to go with you to Paris. Then, mysteriously, you arrived there, and I didn’t. I spent the next ten days wandering around airports and sitting in dank, dark rooms looking for you. I know that you called the Lisbon and Paris airports every day looking for me. But I was hidden in a dark corner and could not get out. No one would listen to me; they just kept piling more bags on top.I think I heard the firecrackers on New Year’s eve but I was never sure if I was in Lisbon or in Paris. I was also very cold, so I knew you must have been cold too. I had your heavy coats and sweaters , but what did you wear? Then I heard a man say “ Oui” so I figured I was in Paris. Two days later, someone picked me up ( not too gently I might add) and threw me into a truck. We rode though a city that must have been Paris because though the back window I peeked at the Eiffel Tower. Finally we got to a hotel. I saw the name “ Westin” on the front door. I was so exited that you and I would finally be reunited, but alas I was destined to be thrown into another dark room for the next 4 days. I was sure I heard you ask for me, but then I also heard an arrogant voice say “ NON” when you said you thought I had arrived. I even heard you check out of the hotel and longed to leave with you, but no one came to get me so I had to sleep in that dark and cold room for 3 more nights. Then, suddenly, a man who called himself “ The Front of the House Manager” came to get me. I overheard him say that you had called his boss asking for me. Finally, they sent me back to Lisbon. I flew home that night and was so happy when another man delivered me to our home in Cascais on January 6. So, Don, we didn’t spend the holiday together but I am happily reunited with you again. But, please, take me to a doctor because I have tear in my left side. Before I travel with you again, I might need some minor surgery.

Happy 2010. Your brown suitcase.

Here’s what happened. On December 29, Don checked his suitcase with TAP and boarded their afternoon flight from Lisbon to Orly. ( I was already in Paris.) He checked his bag with trepidation as the suitcase from his previous trip to the USA in November had never arrived. But this time, as the flight was direct, he was sure it would arrive. It never did, despite his flying Executive (business) Class. We called the Lisbon and Orly airports countless times, with no results. As we all know the temperatures have been freezing. TAP told Don he could spend 100 Euros total for his missing clothes to which he replied, “ Ma’am, have you ever been to Paris?” Then he called the concierge and asked if there was an extra coat in lost and found. They told him to come to the basement where they were ironing a doorman’s uniform, complete with gold trimming and epaulettes! Finaly, they found a raincoat which he wore until we left. He found a smart looking shirt at Zara plus a purple sweater ( his 100 € allowance) and wore them the whole trip! We did nightly underwear washing and I admit he was a far better sport than I would have been. Once home, TAP finally let us search through thousands of lost bags stored beneath their airport. When we found nothing, they agreed to call Orly one last time and the bag was found amidst hundreds of others stranded from Madrid flights. Don now has one bag and is still searching for the other. My 2010 resolution: carry-ons only from now on.

patwestheimer@gmail.com